It's Official: He's Out of His Mind

Well, this whole stalker angle crap has elevated and guess who's on the TV? That's right, Taker's wife. And all I have to say, among other things, is he's out of his goddamn mind. So this opinion will concern that, the injection of Mrs. Undertaker, and some snippets from a recent interview.

Now before I begin, I want to make a few things clear before I start. Reason being, I really don't need any of those horseshit e-mails that are so common they're like forms. You know the ones: "you're jealous" (ooh...your intelligence to come up with that jewel is underwhelming), "yor jelas" (from the Oxford grads in the house), "im glad you think saramustdiediedie i think the same" (from those who could really use some lithium). I also don't want any of those, "He's happy and you should be too" e-mails. Personally, most of that group makes me tired because it seems like feigned happiness just in case he sees what was written, posted, etc. Like he's going to read those or this and if he did, I could care less. I'm sure he's a big boy and has heard worse criticism.

A Few Statements:

--One, I'm not one of those "DIE SARA- YOU BITCH!" friendly fans or the ones who are jealous of her. Hell, just by going through my site you can tell that. At least I hope I come off more sane and intelligent than that. And thankfully I haven't encountered many of these folks but I've heard enough about them. They were the ones who had a mourning period when he got hitched and are the ones resenting that day in history today. Personally, I could care less that he's hitched and that she's the chosen one to love, honor, cherish, pick up his beer cans and spit cups, etc., etc., etc.

--And, yes, I know I'm going to be breaking my "no talking about Calaway's private life" regarding the wife so deal with it. But I feel that since Sara's not on the sidelines and is part of the show, that's shot to hell anyway. However, everything else is still off-limits.

--This will also get bitchy and might not speak of your favorite rassler highly. If those of you who get touchy when he's criticized are reading this, consider yourself forewarned.

Well, with all of that out of the way, where should I begin? Maybe I'll just flat-out say it: I don't like this angle. I could probably add a few more words, primarly cursing with a flourish in my own unique way, but I shall refrain. The angle just came out of left field. The night after Judgment Day gears were flat-out switched and Taker was put into a new angle. Hell, even in doing this with the normal roster elicits a "whatthefuck?" But to add to the big "whatthefuck?" we have the wife in this now in a stalker angle, no less.

And this has gone down the shitter pretty quickly. First we have Sara brushing her hair and looking confused in a segment that I'm sure will be up for an Oscar. Next we see Sara and Taker, in a fuckin' funny segment, riding around on 4-wheelers. Lord, I was waiting for the close-ups of them smiling, soft focus camera work, and some soft rock from the 70s to accompany. I was also waiting to see if they'd buzz each other to play tag. Then Taker shows up, pissed, and paces, rants, and knocks off Paul E.'s toupee. We see Sara, a water hose, and the mastiffs around the pool as Taker looks on angrily. All of this adds up to angle hell, plain and simple. Sad to say, it even makes me yearn for the MoD, in some sick, sadistic way. At least it had some semblance of structure. And those of you who visit the site know how much I loved the MoD. :P I'll also pony up this question: is Vinnie Ru back? This just stinks of his booking. Even thinking about this angle takes me back to the late 90's, when Russo had the book and we were subjected to some of the most ridiculous and horndog angles possible.

Now for a snippet from WrestleLine's interview with Taker himself. Previous to this snippet, they brought up the topic of Sara in the storylines.

DR: How did it come about that she was going to get involved in the storylines?

UT: Uh... I don't know, really. Just kind of happened.

OK, I'm going to be blunt here: he sounds like a retard and unlike himself. I'm sure they edited out the, "Duh" between the two sentences. Kind of like all those years of either perming or coloring his hair have affected his grey matter. Hell, this even beats his Outlaw Josey Wales 2000 statement further down the interview in idiocy. He doesn't know, eh? Shit happens, not your wife being worked into the angles. Ok, now it's my catty time (as it hasn't been already)-- maybe he doesn't want to say that the wife wanted in, bugged him about it, and he pulled some strings to get her there, therefore this clusterfuck booking? And for further cattiness, after reading that above, plus the few sentences around it, sounds like he has a set and they're in his wife's purse.

Now I'm not shocked that she's actually on TV. Actually, I figured she'd find her way on camera sooner or later. They used her voice and name for that deal with Austin, which got her foot in the door, so to speak. Also, either before or after that segment, I saw a recent WWF mag with ol' Taker and his choice for favorite actress- his wife. After I saw that, I was guaran-damn-teed she'd be on the show somehow. I've read some rumors about what kind of an actress she's been but since I don't know if they were fabricated by jealous UT fans or have a ring of truth, I'll just refrain on mentioning that. But I will say that we haven't seen the last of her and I'm figuring she'll be stepping out of the vignettes and onto RAW, Smackdown!, and/or the next PPV, King of the Ring. I also will be bold and say this: it makes me think what kind of a person she is to voluntarily put herself on TV in such a manner. Maybe I'm just feeling especially bitchy tonight, but after all of this unfolding, it kind of seems like she's using hubby as a stepping stone into the business and since she's the Mrs., I'm sure he's obliged to make her happy.

Now from the interview:

DR: Moving onto wrestling, it's nice to finally see the woman tattooed on your neck. How do you feel having your wife involved in the storylines?

UT: It's pretty exciting, generally the biggest thing I am excited about is that we're gonna be able to spend some more time together. My schedule pretty much keeps me away from home all the time, and it's getting kind of old and tiring.

As for the above, all I have to say is, "oh brother." And before I'm labeled as too much of a heartless bitch, I understand that he would miss her while he's on the road. But it's his job and that is one of the things that comes with the territory. He seemed to cope with his first wife. Also, it's not like she had to be in the show to travel with him. Hell, those who have seen him said that she seems to travel with him quite frequently.

OK, now I'm done with the ranting over the general angle part. All in all, this seems to me that Taker flexed some backstage muscle to get the wife onto TV. It appears that since she's an "actress" and all, she wanted some national exposure and since she's married to one of the, if not the, most respected man in the WWF, got that opportunity. And the result of this is some "whatthefuck?" angle that will probably end up with Big Bossman, Kane, Vince, Kamala, Mabel, or the Gobbledy Gooker stalking Sara. And the big showdown will be at KOTR, with Sara at ringside or kidnapped by a Dennis Knight hellbent on getting revenge for being sacrificed by Taker in one of the most painful WWF moments to date, other than any Grandmaster Sexay sketch.

Onto the other less-than thrilling things about this angle other than it being prime Wrestle Crap material. I'm not going to really say much about the character and how it doesn't fit because the Taker we see now isn't the Taker we had from 1990 - 1998 and boy is that prevalent now. I still think he should have played up the loner part due to tradition, but I guess he was tired of that and wanted to keep up with the Jones's, so to speak, by being wholly human and not being afraid to trot the wife out. And I can sense the nutsos planning their latest stalking mission as I type. And if this is Taker's actual house where this deal has been taped (and the smart sites are saying it was), real good idea there. Now at least the stalkers know what the house looks like and that there are some nice woods surrounding to hide out in, which will help them greatly. It's also really smart to bring home that point that Taker's marriage isn't a sham and actually show the two together. Soon, it will be time to call Jimmy Dotson back to do some bodyguard work.

All in all, this angle sucks for various reasons as I said above. Now I'm not going to be one of those who think that it will be career suicide but the sooner it's off the TV, the better. Hell, he bounced back from the Ministry, didn't he?

 

 

Date Written: (6-5-01)